Yesterday, Oscar winning actress MoNiques older brother, Gerald, appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show. The watershed interview, sanctioned by MoNique herself, ended 37 years of denial for Gerald. Sometime ago, MoNique publicly disclosed the
molestation and singled out her older brother, whom she often referred to as a monster, as the perpetrator. She described how the abuse served as her inspiration for her Oscar winning portrayal of Mary Jones in the movie Precious. “I knew very well who that monster was. I knew Mary Jones,” Mo’Nique told Oprah. “So when [the director] would say, ‘Action,’ that’s the monster that I became.”
Gerald, admittedly in denial for over three decades came on the show to make amends. “I’m here today to first acknowledge what I’ve been in denial for for 37 years, and that is I did assault and inappropriately touch my sister in manners that were uncomfortable for her,” Gerald says. “And for that, I apologize and I’m humbly sorry that those actions had taken place.” Prior to yesterdays interview MoNique told Barbara Walters the only apology ever received from her brother was “If you think I did something wrong, then I’m sorry.”
Gerald, a victim of sexual abuse himself, blamed the sexual abuse and years of drug addiction for his inappropriate actions and subsequent denial of his abusive behavior. “The drugs weren’t an excuse. They just allowed me and afforded me the opportunity to do the things that were in the back of my mind as a kid that I always wanted to do,”
Years after the molestation of his sister, Gerald was convicted for sexually abusing someone else. Gerald served 12 years in prison for the offense but still remained in denial throughout it all. In fact, it would appear that MoNique herself was in denial too as she continued to have a relationship with her brother up until a few years ago.
Gerald, her parents and another brother appeared on the Oprah show and all seemed confused by MoNiques public disclosure and timing. MoNiques parents, Mr. and Mrs. Imes, acknowledge not having talked to her in over two and a half years. They were perplexed at why the Academy Award winning actress, after 30 years of maintaining what was perceived as a healthy relationship with Gerald and other family members, would suddenly cast them off. Clearly, the relationship was never healthy and, after years of suppression and denial, once this wound was opened, it grew like a malignant cancer. MoNique chose to stop the growth of the cancer by cutting off her brother.
The timing, in my opinion, is crystal clear. After giving birth to twin boys, MoNique was visited at the hospital by her brother. Shortly thereafter, MoNique told him he was no longer welcomed amongst her family.” MoNique called him and said: ‘You know what? I don’t want you to be around my boys.'”. MoNique became a mother, a protector, a lioness of her baby cubs. The lioness cannot allow any harm to come to her offspring and Gerald was a clear and present danger to both MoNique and her boys. Things change when you become a parent, you will protect yours at all cost.
I hope that MoNique can one day mend the broken fences within her family. Despite all the abuse, denial, and hurt throughout the years, I hope she can love them even through the pain. As Gerald put it You know what? This happened. I’m sorry that it happened. I’m sorry that it happened to you, and that I was the perpetrator, the one that did it to you. However, I understand your pain. I, too, was there. Now lets share this together and move on. Let’s help someone else.'”
